Anthony King: 2009

The Republican Party has been better at politics than the Democratic Party for years now.  Since they were not interested in actually governing, they devoted all their energies toward amazing phrases like “death tax” and “patriot act,” titles that skewed the the things they represented in genius and devilish ways.  But that’s the ballgame.  You wanna play baseball?  Learn how to hit what the other team is pitching or lose.

But that only works when both teams are living in reality.  And that’s my problem with the current group of so-called Conservatives: those catchy phrases and slogans no longer represent anything real (e.g. “death panels” or their version of “fascism”).

A conservative paper in South Carolina is giving away “I’m With Joe Wilson” T-shirts.  And sure, that’s asinine, but whatever.  Give away whatever dumb T-shirt you want.  But - what does the phrase “I’m with Joe Wilson” actually mean?  Joe Wilson apologized for his outburst, and his accusation is demonstrably false.  So if you’re truly “with Joe Wilson” it seems to mean you’re happily claiming to be an uncivilized heckler armed with conspiracy theories rather than facts.

And that’s the sad truth.  Conspiracy theories seem to be the only things the Republican Party has left to label.  They’re ruled by a “slippery slope” mentality which dictates that any change whatsoever, even if it appears to be potentially positive, is actually only the first step towards some sort of apocalyptic destruction/socialist takeover that will definitely happen though they aren’t exactly sure how.  And they believe Obama, that cunning huckster, has that slope all mapped out - a path leading directly to him in a military uniform singing negro spirituals while he burns the Consitution on the steps of the Capitol.  I heard it last night from a “Tea-Partier” interviewed after Obama’s speech: “I’m tired of the President telling us one thing, then doing another” (nevermind that this woman neither provided, nor was asked for, any specific examples of whatever the hell she was talking about).

Fine.  But to believe in this mother of all conspiracy theories, they must also believe in their own impotence.  They must believe that they are themselves so weak, so pathetic, so appallingly incompetent that they would not be able to stop this supposed descent into madness.  Once our duly elected president is allowed to enact any part of the agenda he outlined before a majority of the nation voted for him, it will be too late.  Because the very Republicans now screaming and yelling and talking up conspiracy theories no less idiotic than “the moon landing was fake” or “Jamba Juice is good for you” will apparently be helpless to stop him?  Once he actually does any of the un-Democratic things they predict, they’ll just…have to let it happen?

Apparently so.  Otherwise, they wouldn’t need to make such scary, rootless predictions.  They could simply register their disagreement, wait for his policies to fail, say “I told you so” and win the next election in a landslide. Or use the provisions already in the Constitution to stop any actual un-Constitutional acts.

So - what does “I’m With Joe Wilson” actually mean?  It means “I’m weak.”

Why are these people in Town Halls - and Congress - yelling so much?  Because they’re WEAK.

REPUBLICANS ARE WEAK.

And weakness…is UNAMERICAN.